September 2009
4 posts
WatchThe guy who looks like a younger Joachim Phoenix is sent to Paris by L. Ron Hubbard to help John Travolta spread the word of Scientology.
WatchI was forced to watch this trailer at the theater last weekend.
Guy can’t decide between “Legs or Breasts.” (SPOILER: breasts)
Wife eats bad shrimp… dead.
Guy’s bastard son comes home from that Harry Potter school.
Diving into a bathtub is safe.
This is how that trailer makes me feel.
Watch40 Year Old Virgin… FOR ASIANS! (w/ Ando)
WatchWe didn’t land on Plymouth rock… Solomon Kane did MOTHERFUCKERS!
So, this Pilgrim (Solomon) killed a bunch of people, but if he kills one more he goes to hell? But then some kids get snatched up, and he has to save them for Thanksgiving… or some shit, I don’t really know much about the true origins of Thanksgiving. Hopefully this movie will clear it up for me.
*I think...
August 2009
6 posts
WatchOnly men with beards will survive the apocalypse.
FINAL VERDICT:
I’d watch it in theaters. I’m sure Viggo Mortensen will fuck some dudes up… hopefully sans any fully nude post apocalyptic fight scenes.
WatchRobert DiNero was ‘The Fan’, so is Patton Oswalt in “Big Fan” cause he’s fat? I don’t really get this trailer. So these guys are fans of some NFL team, they meet their favorite player… then one of them gets his ass kicked so hard he turns retarded? (Or was he retarded all along?)
FINAL VERDICT:
I’ll pass. Although… if Patton Oswalt is just acting retarded the whole movie, then...
WatchLEGION… a short film.
I’m not sure, but I think this is the third movie in the ‘Da Vinci Code’ trilogy… although I didn’t see Tom Hanks. It’s about time they get to the action. I have no idea WTF is even going on, but apparently everybody gets a shotgun and goes apeshit. This is what ‘Passion of the Christ’ needed… a few M16’s, some bad ass explosions, and crazy old people walking on the...
WatchTHIS TRAILER IS RACIST.
Apparently aliens are just giant crickets and speak some sort of African dialect. So naturally they wind up staying in Africa, but then people freak the fuck out. Now the Africans don’t want the Aliens living there, so ironically they want to bring back segregation. The aliens cook METH, some shit gets blown up, robot Abraham Lincoln wants to free them, and HOLY SHIT THAT...